In thinking about what I was going to say today my mind kept thinking about war. Every time I thought about peace my mind was also drawn to war. With this in mind, I thought about what a great opportunity this is to utilize a theological approach known as the via negativa, a Latin phrase used by theologians to approach an understanding and explanation of God by focusing on what God is not. By thinking about war, by talking about war, I could perhaps hint at or share a glimpse of what peace is. 

The problem I ran into however is that for the most part, my understanding and experience of war is that from a historical or news perspective. I like many of us gathered here today only know about war from a classroom or a news report. In this sense, I really couldn’t talk about peace or share an understanding of what peace is by talking about war because, to a certain degree, I don’t know a thing about war in part because I have never experienced it. 

Now that was the thought that brought me to what I could share today, what I could talk about because I have experienced it. I have experienced peace. Which leads me to ask a question of each of you… Have you experienced peace? 

Really think about it. When life becomes busy and burdensome when you have too much to do and everything around you is overwhelming, what is the feeling that comes next? 

What is that feeling of relief when you send that last email? Submit that paper you’ve spent hours working on? finish the test you spent days studying for or give the presentation that took weeks of research and anxiety to present. Is that a feeling of peace? 

Is there peace in the quiet hours of the morning when you’ve woken up before everyone else? Is there peace in the quiet hours of the morning when you’re about to fall asleep after everyone else? 

Is there peace when sitting around a table with loved ones sharing a meal, a laugh, playing a game? 

Is there somewhere specific on campus or anywhere else in your life where you find both an inner and outer peace? 

Have you experienced peace? I hope you have. If you haven’t I hope you give yourself the gift of finding a moment of peace. And today and each day moving forward, I invite you once you have experienced a moment of peace to look at the world around you and find the ways in which you can be peace. Find ways in which you can share the peace of your life with those around you. Find ways in which you can as a global citizen can be an advocate for peace. 

As Pope Francis implored in his prayer for peace, “Keep alive within us the flame of hope, so that with patience and perseverance we may opt for dialogue and reconciliation. In this way may peace triumph at last and may the words “division”, “hatred” and “war” be banished from the heart of every man and woman.”

May this peace pole on campus be a reminder for us to find peace in our lives and to be peace. 

May Peace Prevail on Earth. 

Your Bench - Reflection/Meditation Series

Meditation Series part one (... = long pause).

(Feel free to play some calming music in the background. Not sure what to use CLICK HERE) 

Breathe in...  

And out...

Breathe in...  

And out...

Breathe in...  

And out...

Settle into the space you are in.

Get Comfortable. 

Feel yourself begin to relax as you continue to breathe...

Breathe in...

And out...

In...

And out...

In...

And out...

In your mind, picture a bench. Not just any bench. This is your bench. Focus on your bench. Don't worry about what's surrounding the bench, just picture your bench. Maybe this is a bench you've sat on before. Maybe it's just the first image that popped into your mind. This is your bench. 

What can you see about your bench? What is your bench made of? Is it wood? Is it concrete? Is it metal? Plastic? Is it grown from the earth? Is it cement? 

Picture your bench.

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

What about the legs on your bench? Are they metal? Cast iron? Wood? What is it that holds your bench up? 

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

Now imagine yourself sitting on your bench. What does it feel like? Is it comfortable? Is it hard? Is it cold? Does it creek or make any noise? 

What does it feel like to sit on your bench? Do you feel peaceful? Can you relax? What do you feel as you sit on your bench? 

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

Slowly return to your surroundings. As you return to the space around you, thank yourself for giving yourself the time to be present in this moment. To spend time thinking about your bench. 

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

During future meditations in this series, you will be invited to return to your bench. Be mindful that as you go your bench may change. Maybe as you're walking through your day to day life you find a new bench. 

 

Meditation/Reflection Series

Hello and welcome to a new Reflection/Meditation Series. Over the next who knows how long/how often I will be posting meditations/reflections. This may be a total flop and end quickly or depending on how I feel it may become a multi-season series with many parts/episodes per season.

This series is inspired by a task from my previous job (a task I assigned myself based on feedback). Every Tuesday from 4:00-4:30 I would lead a guided meditation. I was fortunate enough to be working on a campus with a beautiful meditation room.  My goal was to ensure this time was welcoming and available to all students, faculty, and staff regardless of faith tradition. 

The goal each week was to provide a couple of minutes of quiet as they entered the room. I often had some background music playing at first just from my phone, then through a Bluetooth speaker, then through the speakers in the room itself. That's when I knew I was getting real fancy! I searched meditation music on YouTube and found this CLICK HERE to listen. I've used it/greatly enjoyed it ever since. Not too much not too little, the perfect amount of relaxing. After folks got settled I would start a 10-15 minute guided meditation. Sometimes this was a prewritten meditation from a book I have, with some ad-libbing of course. Other times it was something I wrote beforehand, with some ad-libbing of course. Still, other times it was something I made up on the spot based on the mood of the room, the weather outside, or what was happening in the world/campus around us. 

After the guided meditation there would be time to just listen to the music and then slowly the music would become quieter and quieter until you couldn't hear anything. This complete silence never lasted for too long as those attending would gather their things/themselves and start to depart. These sessions rarely lasted the full 30 minutes, but always provided those attending with time to simply sit and be. They could listen to me and be guided by the meditation or focus on the music or simply wander amongst their own thoughts. No matter what the time was meant to be a gift to themselves. 

In future posts, I will of course give them a title but also provide an indication that the post is part of the meditation/reflection series. All of these will be able to be stand-alone reflections/meditations, but may also benefit from being read/experienced in order. I will do my best to create a clear system for indicating/sharing my thoughts on that to start each post. 

Welcome to the new series. 

Below you will find pictures of the meditation room. The first is a picture of the building from the outside. The meditation space is on the second floor with those beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows. The pictures that follow are courtesy of a dear friend who took time out of a very busy day to snag the photos and shows the meditation space from the inside. To say it was a beautiful space is an extreme understatement. 

Doors before entering the meditation space

The room itself.

Doors as you exit.

Views from the windows.

Damn Semantics!

The other day (by this I mean several weeks ago) I was able to spend time with one of my friends and his family. In fact, I was fortunate enough to spend time with them all twice in the space of a single week. Since this was just the other day I'm not struggling to remember if that happened at his birthday party or at the lake house his family vacationed at for a week. Most assuredly however I do remember that at one of these encounters my friend's mom made a comment about how her son and I met playing chess and became friends as a result. For some reason, instead of just saying yes, or letting the comment pass by without a comment I felt the need to clarify and say, "well no, we didn't meet playing chess, we became friends and then mostly during our senior year in our free time we would play chess from time to time." 

To this moment I still don't know why it was important to me that I make this clarification. It had no merit and no impact on the situation. As I think back on the exchange if anything I worry that I offended my friend's mom by correcting her. 

Now perhaps no one better than my own mother knows how ridiculously particular I can be. For years and years, especially my high school years my mom and I would go back and forth arguing over semantics. To this day she will say one thing, mean something drastically different and at times not understand why that drives me nuts. 

For years and years, I've been overly difficult at times when it comes to using more precise language and have found myself seemingly needlessly arguing over semantics. The other day someone kept referring to buying curtain rods and curtains as buying blinds. I was honestly confused/misunderstood. I will say I was successful in not correcting this person or making a big to do about it. 

And yet there are times when I myself am less precise and don't seem to give a damn about semantics and use phrases interchangeably. So I'm left to wonder, why do I care so much about the damn semantics? At least, why do I care so much sometimes about the damn semantics? 

I think the answer is because sometimes it actually matters. One such example that comes to mind in this area is when it comes to nature and the outdoors. Anyone who knows me knows I don't prefer the outdoors. I am not someone who is going to spend their free time out in the sun, on the beach, hiking, or anywhere that may lead me to any discomfort. So I've come to say I don't prefer the outdoors, I don't do the outdoors, though I may look like a mountain man, I'm no outdoorsman. I don't even own flannel in order to not die from overheating and to avoid the comparison to a lumberjack. 

Nevertheless, I have a deep love and appreciation for the outdoors and for nature. If you wander my house and office you will see a number of pieces of artwork depicting the outdoors and nature. If you ask for me to write a meditation or reflection, or ask to read some of the reflections/meditations I have already written you will learn that I have a great love for and respect of nature. I've even contemplated writing an entire series of reflections that I share here on this blog that would have a great deal to do with nature and the outdoors. The simple reality is that I just prefer to experience nature and the outdoors from the indoors. 

These are the moments when it becomes so desperately important for me to be precise and care about the damn semantics. Even if I don't want to spend my time in nature, I still have an abiding love and admiration for all she has to offer. It's complicated. As a result, I want to make sure I'm clear in my communication so that you too can be clear in your understanding. I'm not an outdoors person, but I do love nature... It doesn't make sense, it may seem contradictory, yet nevertheless, it is true. 

Peace and Blessings Always

Cordially, sincerely, yours, take care, kind regards, be well, thanks, best, and on and on and on. These are but a few of the many many many sign-offs used in emails in a daily basis. When I established my "grown up" email account my senior year of high school. I spent more time than was likely needed thinking about what my signature would be, could be, and should be. 

While I'm confident I spent more time pondering this than the average person I'm glad I did. More than 10 years later multiple jobs and emails and I'm still using the same sign-off in my email signature. Now I'm sure if you've read the last couple of blog posts you are sick and tired of hearing about my damn emails (enjoy a nice video of Bernie Sanders expressing similar sentiments about Hillary Clinton's emails https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOOfwN0iYxM). 

For all these years and what I imagine must be thousands upon thousands of emails, not to mention the old school letter and cards I send using the same sign-off, and some of my past blog posts, you see the same phrase, Peace and Blessings Always. 

For me, it was the right balance of religious but not too religious. Now perhaps that shows my own bias and there are those who I have inadvertently made uncomfortable over the years with the phrase. Yet even so, when I think about the reasoning behind why I settled on that phrase it doesn't have to be religious at all. 

I found myself reflecting (pondering if you will) on why I settled on this phrase twice in the past year, most recently during a conversation with a friend over drinks and before that in a Christmas card I received from a friend. 

Starting with the Christmas card my friend stated her appreciation for our friendship and then referencing herself and her adorable dog she said 'what a blessing I have been to their lives.' Now this perhaps is too high of praise, but in reading her card and in my response to her in the Christmas card I sent I reflected on that being a primary goal of my life and existence. To be a blessing. Now, obviously this is the part of my sign-off phrase that is religious and potentially off-putting. But it isn't meant to be and I don't think it has to be limited to the religious understanding of the term. For me when I say blessings it simply means all good things. May your life and your day be filled with good things. Things that bring you joy and happiness, peace and contentment. It doesn't have to be from God but instead can be from each of us to each other. 

More recently my friend shared with me that she has been reflecting (perhaps even pondering) in her own life on things and if they are bringing her joy or suffering. Worrying about the cleanliness of a house before friends come or even deciding not to have friends over because the house isn't clean... joy or suffering. 

For me, this resulted in recalling another recent situation with this same friend at a meeting we were at when we were asked what is bringing us joy in our lives. When it comes to fun and joy I find myself most often responding dismissively, "Oh I don't do fun" "Joy isn't my thing" "Who even has the time" but as I take the time to think about these things it's not that I don't do fun or that joy isn't my thing. More accurately I think there are times when instead of thinking about joy and fun as what I am longing for instead I am longing for peace, something that does bring me joy and that I do find to be fun (whatever that means). Now perhaps I'm just making distinctions where there is no real difference (be on the lookout for a new blog post talking more about that) but even if that's the case it's how I feel, or at least what I'm currently thinking on the topic. 

All this to say, I hope in your day, your week, your month, and even your year, you find things that are bringing you peace and all things good. As I spend my day reflecting I find myself more and more realizing I want to be a blessing to those around me and I want to find peace. 

So with that, I say... 

Peace and Blessings Always

~Mike

"No Answers Only Questions"

 Riding with me can be a bit of an adventure. No not because of my reckless driving. In fact, on more than one occasion I've been reminded I no longer drive a Buick, not need to drive like a grandpa. While I certainly spent some time as a youth rushing from place to place I'd like to think my motto of don't be hasty not only applies to my walking, decision making, speech pattern, and most every other aspect of my life, but also to my driving (the handful of speeding tickets also helped me learn to slow down while driving and be a bit more cautious). 

No the reason why riding with me (at least the reason for this post) has much more to do with the fancy new car I have that connects to my phone. From listening to an audiobook at two times the speed, or one of my favorite NPR podcasts one is never too certain what will come on the radio when I'm driving. This is particularly true if I haven't been listening to a podcast or audiobook recently. In those events, my phone automatically goes to my iTunes and starts to play the music I have there. The only problem with this is I've not gone about adding music to my phone ever. The only music that is readily available in iTunes comes from one specific playlist. This is the purchased playlist. I have not actively purchased anything from iTunes since I was in college. More specifically much of the music that I did purchase from iTunes was done during my high school years. Like I said, riding with me can be one hell of an adventure. Beyond attempting to navigate the eclectic taste in music I had from when I was 14 to 22 there is another unique category of music that can be found in that playlist. 

That is the category of music specifically purchased for my dad that I helped him add to an iPod shuffle he had. He would give me cash or an iTunes gift card and I would buy whatever album he wanted, add it to the "dad" playlist and transfer the music to his iPod every so often. For the most part, I never gave the songs much thought or attention. Truth be told I completely forgot about this until I was driving and couldn't figure out what some of these songs were and why they were on my phone. I then remembered this ancient practice of purchasing music and putting the songs on the iPod. 

More often than not, I find myself skipping these songs. However, there was one in particular that I've come to really enjoy. I don't know why I first listened to it, maybe I liked the tone that it set, maybe I was just too slow skipping (after all one must not be too hasty). 

The song in question is the title of this reflection: No Answers Only Questions (Final Version) by The Alan Parsons Project (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xH59A_8M3A). 

If you've never heard of this song give it a listen (link above). Listening to this song on repeat last week helped inspire me to write the last two reflections I shared. It helped remind me that it's ok to sit with the questions. I hope you find this song and its lyrics as beautiful, calming, and comforting as I do. 

Some of us laugh,

Some of us cry,

Some of us lay back - watch the world go by.

Some of us fear,

Some of us hate,

Some of us won't wake up 'till it's too late!

The distance between us is a mystery to us all,

The difference between us is so small!

There are no answers, only questions

And we're all strangers to the truth

But in my mind's eye

I have found the reason why

And I carry the burden of the proof.

Why do we fight?

Why do we fall?

Why do we stand there - backs against the wall?

Why don't we change?

Why don't we try?

Why don't we turn 'round, help the other guy?

The distance between us is a mystery to us all,

The difference between us is so small

There are no answers, only questions

And we're all strangers to the truth

But in my mind's eye

I have found the reason why

And I carry the burden of the proof

And I carry the burden of the proof.

New Chapters: The Future of a Blog

 In my last post, I provided a brief history of this blog and roughly twelve reasons (excuses) for why my commitment to writing reflections dropped off. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons (not an excuse) was a massive case of writer's block brought on by ridiculous expectations. See the truth is when it comes to my writing and reflections I have a fairly low level of confidence. Sure there are certain pieces that I think are amazing, certain research papers from school that I take a particular level of pride in, but all in all, over the years I've found myself questioning why I bother putting thoughts to paper (even electronic paper). I found myself thinking that if there wasn't anything truly uniquely profound or new that I was sharing what was the point of sharing at all. 

Fortunately, over the years I have had a number of supportive friends who have always encouraged my writing. Yet never the less I wondered what was the purpose of me writing these blogs posing questions if I couldn't answer them with some kind of brilliance. 

In December I was reminded by a friend that sometimes what can be most appreciated is asking the questions, truly sitting with them, and letting them bother me. In a more recent conversation with that same friend, I was talking with them about a Dominican Motto that I have had in my email signature since (I think February) 2014. This motto "Contemplare et contemplata aliis tradere" "To contemplate and share with others the fruits of our contemplation" has been something I have personally identified with deeply since I spent time visiting the Dominican Priory in St. Louis in February of 2014. During this most recent conversation, I was giving myself a hard time saying I am exceptionally good at the first half of the motto. I greatly enjoy sitting and contemplating. Or as I often say with other friends I greatly enjoy sitting and pondering Something I do so much my friend Brian and I as well as my friend Kara and I have our own inside jokes (mostly just them making fun of me) about me sitting around always pondering. 

With this motto in mind and more specifically with a desire to be more committed to the second half, not just the first my goal for this blog, the new about me section, is to share fruits. The fruits may not always be picture-perfect, they may not be polished and brilliant, and at times it may be nothing more than sharing some questions that have been bothering me or explaining insights into how I think about things and go about my day-to-day existence. 

So if you're ever wondering what has Mike been thinking about lately hopefully you won't need to look too much further than this blog. 

My home office/study/almost library aka one of my favorite views when pondering. 

Old Chapters: The Brief History of a Blog

 If you were to take a close look at the blog you might notice that I first started writing these reflections in 2015. While that appears to be the case the reality is that I actually created this blog way back in 2011. It was spring. I was graduating high school, I had just gotten a new laptop and was getting ready to head off to college. Starting the blog was a suggestion from some friends and family. I cannot say with certainty, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the suggesting came as a result of reading one too many angsty Facebook statuses from teenage Mike. 

Fortunately, in 2015 when I decided to breathe new life into the blog I deleted all the original posts. True to dinosaur form, and my love for hard copies of books, articles, and all things written I do have printed copies of some of the better reflections from the blog's first chapter. Buy me a coffee and just maybe I'll share a copy of two with you. 

Chapter two of the blog started in 2015, with 22 reflections posted. In addition to these reflections, I updated the about me section of the blog. A section that was again amended in 2017 and has been updated again (2022). In 2015 having just graduated from college there were still remnants of angsty teenage Mike but more and more the reflections became focused on my academic passions and theological pursuits most particularly an attempt at reflections on the readings from Mass on Sunday. Here is what the about me section used to say (included here for your enjoyment but also for a historical record for when I inevitably change it again). "Hey everyone, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Mike Ingram and this is my blog. I graduated from Aquinas College (May 2015) Grand Rapids MI with a BA, having majored in Theology, and minored in History and Catholic Studies. I then furthered my academic career by attending the University of Dayton, Dayton, Ohio to pursue a Master's in Theological Studies (August 2017). Since graduating from the University of Dayton I have been working as an Area Coordinator at Aquinas College. In my free time and when feeling most passionate I take time to write reflections. In the event that I am ever quoting scripture it is either coming from the USCCB, or my personal bible, Saint Benedict Press NAB Revised Edition, translation approved by AC of the USCCB in November 2008, and September 2010, Copyright 2011, any quotes used I will give the name, and only provide a full citation as needed, case by case, as requested. Please always feel free to comment or contact me directly to further any and all fruitful conversation."

With 22 posts in 2015 it's interesting to look back and now see that in 2016 (2), 2017 (5), 2018 (6), 2019 (6), 2020 (2), and 2021 (6) a total of six years I only had 27 posts (with this post, 2022 has 1 post). 

Over the last six years, I have identified a number of reasons for why the sudden drop-off in posts. First, I was in grad school, life was not my own and there was too much reading and writing to be done elsewhere. Second, I had just finished grad school I was tired of reading and writing. Third, I was starting a new job that I failed epically at establishing a work-life balance in. Fourth, I didn't have a laptop. Fifth my Chrome book sucked. Sixth, I was moving out of state and starting a new job with about as much luck establishing work-life balance as the last job. Seventh, I once again didn't have a laptop. Eighth, I bought a new MacBook Air, but was once again moving states and starting a new job that was going to take a lot of focus and energy (proud to say I've gotten a little bit better at balancing work and life). Ninth, I didn't have a nice desk in my home office to work at (new desk thanks to Facebook marketplace in March/April). Tenth, I didn't love my desk chair (new desk chair thanks to Facebook marketplace in April/May). Eleventh, all my great ideas come to me when I'm driving back and forth from Michigan to Ohio and by the time I reach my destination all brilliance and desire to write has vanished. Reason D, all of the above plus not having my go-to coffee shop that I absolutely love and do my best writing at [RIP Saxbys/Tastefully Roasted (ok not actually RIP, but I do miss living in Dayton for this and a couple of other reasons)]. 

All these things are true and excellent excuses. However, I think the more accurate reason for the drop-off in posts and my inability to write more regularly is because without fully realizing it the about me section changed and needed to be updated. The blog seemed to have a clearly defined purpose. I seemed to have a clearly defined reason for writing and sharing my thoughts. Yet somewhere along the way I lost that purpose or perhaps more accurately the purpose shifted and it hasn't been until recently that I've been willing to really sit with and admit these things to myself or to those who from time to time read these posts. 

One thing that I remember clearly from 2015 when I was posting the most was the advice that I got to keep these posts short. With that in mind come back later today or tomorrow for part two of this adventure New Chapters: The Future of a Blog.

O Holy Night

As I was driving last week listening to the radio I listened to the last half of Celine Dion's version of "O Holy Night." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsWUWzai8P8).

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. While her version is not my favorite, I think Josh Groban still wins that, I absolutely love how the song builds, swelling, and stirring to life a deep longing from within. I've truly spent countless hours listening to various versions of the song, Dion's, Groban's, former students, the West Wing, whether driving, sitting at a desk like I am now, or walking across campus in the evening with headphones the song never seems to disappoint. 

So as I was driving I was surprised to find myself listening to the song as if for the first time. Specifically, at the two-minute and forty-five-second mark. At this point, the song proclaims, "And in his name, all oppression shall cease." Even without needlessly capitalizing the H in him I think anyone reading this knows that the him the song is referring to is Jesus Christ. The man whose birth we celebrate on December 25 each year. In his name, all oppression shall cease... 

Yet for the last week as I find myself listening to the various versions of a song I love or randomly throughout my day I cannot help but feel the nagging lingering thought of when did we lose sight of that idea. When did we stop believing that in Christ's name all oppression shall cease? 

For two thousand years organized (Christian) religion has oppressed people. Yes, of course, there have been innumerable acts of love, kindness, and good as well. Yet the at times haunting truth of the matter is that in who's very name all oppression should cease it is in that very name that religions themselves and religious people have oppressed and continue to oppress. 

From claiming Christian love to the ludicrous notion of hate the sin love the sinner his name in which all oppression will cease has been a name of oppression. 

This Advent season I plan to continue to let this question bother me. I plan to continue to feel uncomfortable and wrestle with the reality that at some point, perhaps from the very beginning, we lost our understanding and even a belief that in his name all oppression shall cease. 

Nature is Trying to Teach Us.

The back cover of the book succinctly states, "In Ask the Beasts -- Darwin and the God of Love, bestselling author and leading academic Elizabeth A. Johnson expounds upon the notion that love of the natural world is an intrinsic element of faith in God and that far from being an add-on, ecological care is at the centre of moral life." 

Having read this book during my second year of grad school I remember finding the book to be somewhat of a letdown, yet even so 4 or 5 years later I still find myself regularly talking about or at the very least reminding myself to "ask the beasts." 

Yesterday I was reminded of this idea and had the thought while driving to Grand Haven. It was about 5:30pm the sun was setting and the trees along the highway were beautiful. Fall truly is a beautiful time of year in West Michigan and the various changing colors of the leaves did not disappoint last night. 

As I drove and looked at the trees I couldn't help but marvel at their beauty, even those couple of trees completely bare with no leaves at all anymore were stunning. Then came this nagging sensation deep from within and pressing to the forefront of my mind...Nature is trying to teach us something. These trees standing tall and proud some with beautiful leaves others with bare branches and still others covered with evergreen pines...they are trying to teach us something. 

Every year as nature goes through her cycles she calls out to us, she subtly and sometimes not so subtly hints to us that it is ok to let go. It is ok to change and grow. It is ok to be burdened at times and droop, it is ok to go through our own seasons of life, growth, decay, and even death. 

If we are willing to take a moment, to "ask the beasts" to listen to the trees, to pay attention to the natural world around us we may just be struck dumb with how much nature is trying to teach us. As I sit writing this I greatly look forward to time spent this weekend being still and listening to and watching nature as she tries to teach me. 

Peace and Blessings Always 

~M

"Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self." ~Dean Jackson

Quote taken from Dominican Center at Marywood Facebook page's post from July 26, 2021 

Picture taken on campus by me. 

His Name Was Kevin

 The other day I was driving to get Chipotle and my heart skipped a beat. I thought I saw a woodchuck on the side of the road. I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed that it was actually just a sofa cushion. That was until 3 days later when driving home from a trip to get some much-needed ice cream I did see a woodchuck on the side of the road. Normally roadkill doesn't have this kind of effect on me and wouldn't warrant a reflection like this. More often than not I barely even notice it/quickly look past it. Yet this was different. It was different because his name was Kevin. 

You see just over a year ago as I was getting settled into a new job in a new city I looked out my office window on the backside of the residence hall to a tree line. Between the building and the trees, there was Kevin. I didn't know that was his name at first, but by the time he came to visit the second time I was positive, his name was Kevin. 

As the weeks and months went by I saw less and less of Kevin behind my building, he wasn't a fan of the golf carts grounds and facilities would drive back there. But then I noticed in a little green triangle of grass surrounded by trees elsewhere on campus Kevin found a new space to hang out. Sometimes I even noticed that there were two or three woodchucks there... Yes, all Kevins. 

I've never been a huge fan of woodchucks before (although there was a time when it was the only hard cider I would drink), they're not my favorite animals, that title is held by the majestic moose. Nevertheless, whether it was because I was in a new space having hardly met anyone yet Kevin and I bonded and I was truly saddened to see him by the side of the road. His name was Kevin, he was my friend, and I will miss him. 

An Extraordinary Sunday

This past Sunday was the first on-campus Mass for the new academic year. Having enjoyed a relaxing summer where I didn't have to spend my Sunday evenings preparing for Mass I arrived extra early to make sure everything was prepped and ready... I really wanted to be able to double and triple-check everything just in case I managed to forget everything over the summer break. 

When I arrived to the chapel I noticed that the lights we normally have on 24/7 weren't on. So naturally, I went to the sacristy and tried the old trick of turn everything off and back on again. No luck the lights were out. Specifically, the lights above the ambo were out. At 4:30 in the afternoon this wasn't a problem, but thinking about the sun setting and mass starting at 7:00PM I began to worry about there not being enough light to see the readings...so I began to panic. First, I rushed to the sacristy to find the clip lamp that every sacristy seems to have (often used at the Easter vigil when the mass starts in darkness). Checked several drawers then under an old Christmas gift bag I found it! 

I turn it on... nothing... no batteries. No problem, I have batteries... Nope, this takes AAA I only have AA and a D cell batteries in the sacristy. Also no problem, I live on campus, I know I have AAA batteries in my apartment. I rush back grab the batteries put them in the clip lamp and turn it on... I immediately realize this is not the solution I hoped it would be. The light is far too dim. No worries, there is a three bulbed black lamp that I can bring from storage that won't look terrible next to the ambo. 

Plug it in set it next to the ambo, don't love how it looks, but what can we do, I'd already called maintenance and they aren't able to fix the lights until Monday at the earliest (as I write this on Tuesday the lights are still out because a part needed to be ordered). 

I go back to the sacristy and finish preparing everything else for the mass, including some beautiful hydrangeas from Trader Joe's to go by the altar, after all, it was the solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Worship aids were printed and folded all that I had to do now was find some good readers. A task I was more than capable of doing since I knew at the very least there would be three staff members present who could take care of this. 

So then I went to my office to relax a bit and prepare some projects for the next day. The night was over and I'd overcome the greatest obstacle that I would be facing. Or so I thought...

15 minutes until mass starts... 10 minutes until mass starts... 5 minutes until mass starts... 7:00PM mass is supposed to be starting... The priest still hasn't arrived. 

I call the priest... no answer... So we made the decision to pivot from offering a mass to having a communion service without a priest. This is one of the exact reasons such an option exists within the Church. I've got the readers all lined up... The only major obstacle before me know is that We'll still want someone to offer a reflection and do some preaching. I take a deep breath, pause, say a quick prayer, and think to myself 'I can do this.' 

The service begins, I follow the parameters outlined for what to say during a communion service without a priest. The first reading is read, the psalm is read, the second reading is being proclaimed and I start to pull up an old reflection I wrote about Mary several years ago. Now it's time. Time for the Gospel and my preaching. I bring my notes and phone with the reflection pulled up. I set these on the shelf in the ambo. I don't know if it was nerves or truly just the guidance of the Holy Spirit, but I never looked at these notes or the reflection from years ago. 

It was a Mary feast day so that helped. I cannot remember exactly what I said, but the overall theme was The idea that Mary is our perfect example of making that which could have been ordinary extraordinary and how we to can make choices to go from ordinary to extraordinary. A more fitting message could not have come to mind. The first mass of the academic year the night before the first day of classes we had the beautiful example of Mary. From her humble yes to the great life she lived, to even the way in which she moved from this life to the next, we see the ordinary become extraordinary. I personally saw my own Sunday go from ordinary to extraordinary. 

As I sit writing this reflection watching the rain falling on the window outside my office I'm reminded that even this ordinary, rainy dreary day can be extraordinary. 

Much to the disappointment of the Dominican Sisters present I still don't plan on making a career or habit of preaching on Sundays. 

Preaching 101 - What is True? What is Felt?

 A week or two ago I was attending a virtual conference. One of the sessions that I went to was title 'Preaching 101.' As a part of this session, we were asked to reflect on the parable of the Prodigal Son as if we were going to preach on it. The instructions were somewhat simple, read/listen to the parable then think about a personal connection, the scripture reading itself, and a practical message/takeaway. 

What follows is what I would have shared if the session had only had about 10 more minutes. At this point, I think I should also share that I've been thinking about this parable for a couple of years now and plan to continue to think about it for many years to come. 

If you're not already familiar with the parable of the Prodigal Son you're welcome to quick read it now before reading further. CLICK HERE or turn to Luke 15:11-32.

A few months ago I was reading former President Barak Obama's book A Promised Land. Ok, you're right, I wasn't reading it I was listening to it. Specifically, I had driven home to Grand Rapids for my mom's birthday. Yes, yes I am an amazing son... But truthfully part of my willingness to make the five-hour drive there and then five hours back was specifically to listen to this audiobook. In clear Barak fashion (Michelle Obama's audiobook Becoming, also excellent, was only 19 hours) the audiobook is 29 hours and I was under a library deadline to have the book returned. 

All this to say I was driving back from Michigan to Ohio listening to the audiobook when a particular line struck me. It hit me so hard that as soon as I got home to my apartment I took the hardcopy off my shelf and set to finding it. The quote came toward the end of the sixth chapter (page 126 for those interested) and said, "But it was hard...to distinguish what was true from what was felt."

Ever since hearing that line and then subsequently reading it, I have had the lingering questions rolling around in the back of my head... What is true..? What is felt..? 

From my own daily life to the memories of previous feelings and experiences I wrestle with trying to distinguish between these two things. 

Similarly in the parable of the Prodigal Son, there are any number of instances where we can ask the question what is true? And the question was it felt. 

There are two specific instances I want to look at, one with the younger son and one with the older. 

First, we see the younger son laying among the swine feeling as if he had squandered everything and was unworthy, "I no longer deserve to be called your son." This younger son seems to feel so deeply that he is not deserving of his father's love.

Second, we see the older son returning to a feast he was not invited to celebrating a brother he did not think was deserving, "He said to his father...'Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends." It seems clear to me that this older son is left feeling neglected, overlooked, unloved. 

Now in having looked at what was felt I am left to wonder what is true? To me what is true is the unconditional love of the father. Whether his sons felt worthy of the love, or couldn't seem to feel the love at all, the father never stopped loving. With this in mind, I have two additional questions I'm now left trying to wrestle with... 

In what ways do I feel and know I am loved?

And in what ways do I show my love for others so that it is not only felt, but understood as true? 

A Person Whom Jesus Was Like

Two or three years ago now I was sitting at my favorite brewery in town enjoying some great beer and delicious Indian food. For the three years that I lived in Grand Rapids most recently this was where you could find me on most every Wednesday night. Most often with the same one or two friends. 

Many nights were spent talking about gripes we each had in our jobs, our take on the latest political or Church scandal, the worlds of Middle Earth, D&D, and Hogwarts, and even the occasional conversation about cats, bathroom renovations, and gardening. I assure you each and every Wednesday surely could have been worthy of further reflection and a blog post or two. However, there was one night in particular that I have been thinking about for a couple of years now. 

I can tell you exactly what table we were sitting at and what I was eating/drinking (this bit isn't too hard since I merely rotated between two food options and two beer preferences each Wednesday). After our normal catch-up on all that was troubling us in life and work since our last Wednesday gathering there came a moment in the conversation where my friend prefaced what came next as potentially heretical...It was in this moment that my friend told me about her grandmother who had just passed away. Specifically, in describing the kind of woman her grandmother was, she said, "she was a woman who Jesus was like." I assured her that this wasn't even close to heretical...and I would know...

So often growing up I was told to consider the question What Would Jesus Do? I can't even begin to tell you how many promotional wristbands etc I had with WWJD on them. But never once was I encouraged to think about how I could live my life in a way that one could say Jesus was like me... I was always told to live my life to be like him...a task I'm not sure I'll ever be able to live up to. 

Somehow being a person for whom Jesus is like seems not only more doable but also seems more admirable and honorable of a goal. Perhaps this is all too prideful and it is heretical, however, what I know with certainty is that if once I'm dead and gone someone, a child, or grandchild, a friend, loved one, or anyone who knows me is able to say, "Mike was a man who Jesus was like" it would certainly be enough!

I never met this friend's grandmother and I'm not entirely sure I ever learned her name. Nevertheless, I'm confident that she is someone I won't soon forget. 

Panther Pause

As I begin to prepare to return to Michigan for the holidays I am left completely bewildered as to how quickly the last five-plus months have gone. In my last post, I wrote down some wandering thoughts about my various offices on campus. With this post, I want to go back just a bit further in my time here at ODU. 

Specifically, I find myself thinking back to the middle of June. Somewhere around June 16th or so my sister and I made the 5 ish hour drive from Grand Rapids to Columbus and just after noon I parked in what is my now everyday parking spot and stepped into the parking lot of what has been home for the past five months. Standing in the parking lot in a button-down and some nice red/salmon shorts I meet my new boss in person for the first time. 

During this initial greeting/small talk exchange, while waiting to meet my other new boss (yup, two offices means two bosses, and I suppose if you want to get super technical and cheesy about it three offices really means three bosses #Jesus) an airplane flew overhead. Now naturally there are often times airplanes flying the friendly skies overhead all the time and we never even notice. ODU however, is located close enough to the airport that planes flying overhead are loud enough that they interrupt your conversation. Even when on a virtual call with the office window open the planes can interrupt. 

Now while I think it would be easy to find this overhead interruption annoying I personally find it nice, moreover, ODU has taken to calling these interruptions, these moments when an airplane interrupts a panther pause. Named after ODU being the Panthers, thus the title of this post. 

Personally, I think there are two possible reasons for why I not only don't find these pauses annoying but actually rather enjoy them. One is because I rarely find pauses annoying. As many of you get to hear me say with some regularity "don't be hasty." Sure there is a lot to get done and I should really be reading that book article etc. that doesn't mean I need to rush. The second reason, the one that I have been thinking about since June, is that these airplanes, these panther pauses remind me of church bells. 

You may be wondering 'what in the hell is Mike talking about...has he truly gone round the bend? Airplanes sound nothing like church bells.' In this observation, you are absolutely correct. Planes do not sound like church bells. And yet to a certain degree, they do an excellent job at accomplishing what church bells are meant to do... 

Church bells ring not merely to make noise, not merely to indicate the hour and the passage of time, but are meant to call us to prayer. Fundamentally, the bells ring to call our attention to God. 

And so for the past 5 months and I hope for many months to come when I hear the plane passing overhead, I strive to truly pause. Not just because the plane is too loud, not just to see what airline the plane belongs to, but to completely and fully be present to that moment and in that moment draw my attention to God.  

Yes, this is Notre Dame, I, of course, cannot think about church bells without also thinking about The Hunchback of Notre Dame! 

My Third Office

Well, it has certainly been a while... The last time I found motivation/inspiration to write a reflection here was over a year ago. I was traveling from Utah back to Michigan and I found myself enjoying a peaceful dinner in the Salt Lake City airport looking out at the mountains... 

Since then a great deal has changed. First, the world found itself in the gripes of a global pandemic the likes of which hasn't been seen in over a hundred years. 

Naturally, this meant it was the perfect time for me to start a new job in a new city. In July for the second time in my life, I made the move from Michigan south to Ohio. For the past few months, I have been navigating a new job, in a new city, during a pandemic. 

Those of you who have heard me talk about the new job have likely heard me talk about one of my struggles being that I have two offices. One for the Residence Life side of my position the other for the Campus Ministry side of my job. The biggest struggle I find myself having with two offices is that inevitably once a week and sometimes once a day I find myself looking for a document or book or note that of course is in the other office. 

Oftentimes colleagues and students alike will ask me which office I like better. The honest to God's truthful answer is that I like them both equally but for different reasons. My reslife office is one large room. It's spacious it has a great big window (out of which I often see a woodchuck I've named Kevin) and all in all, is well decorated and set up for meeting with students 1:1. My Campus Ministry office is more of a suite and has three rooms. One has my desk which is ever overly cluttered and very much a lived at desk. The second room is what I started out calling the stress room... It's a small storage/kitchenette space that still needs more organization, but for now, is far less stressful. The third room is my favorite because it has my books and a couple of very comfortable chairs for meeting with students, reading, contemplating, and just sitting in. 

At this point, you might be wondering why this reflection is titled "My Third Office" since I just clearly described the two offices I have. 

Well, the reason for that is because one night heading home from a meeting around 10:30PM I realized I do in fact have a third office. It's incredibly spacious and has one of my favorite places on campus, but it's not my office alone, and not technically an office at all. 

This, of course, is the Chapel of Christ the King. Our humble yet beautiful (even if falling apart in some spaces) chapel on campus. 

As I approached the building in which the chapel is a student who only moments ago must have used the automatic door function (I'm sure to avoid touching the handle because of germs and not because of laziness) to open the door the below image lay before me. In this moment, a moment of peace and calm quiet and serenity I saw the Chapel as if for the first time. And it was stunningly beautiful. 

Each week I get to spend time in this space. Each week I get to work to prepare everything needed for Sunday Mass and a weekday Mass. Sometimes I do this in a hurried fashion, just trying to get a job done before getting to go home for the day. Other days I really take the time to be present in this space. As both a blessing and a curse at times part of my job is going to Mass. 

If I had to pick an "office" that was my favorite it would certainly be the Chapel. From sitting in the choir loft "hiding" from the problems and stresses of everyday life to looking out the stained glass windows pondering, reflecting, and contemplating anything and everything and even at times finding the motivation and inspiration to sing, the thing I know I will always find in this office is comfort and peace, if only for a moment. 

If you've made it this far after the above ramblings, then I'm curious to know what your office is like, and where you most find peace? 

I Want to See Mountains Again

Anytime I travel by airplane I think about the opening scene of the film Love Actually (Click here for Clip) where they talk about the beauty of airport arrivals showing loved ones reconnecting after who knows how long. Perhaps most fittingly on this trip, I think about the notion of love being all around us because I am traveling after being at a dear friends wedding. A wedding at the Red Butte Gardens (Click here to see their website), a beautiful venue that gave me insights I never realized I was lacking. However seeing the sunset behind the mountains bathing the horizon in a pinkish gold I began to understand even more that not only was I surrounded by love, but by immense beauty as well.

While I truly love to travel I am also a massive homebody and find myself increasingly introverted and more specifically introspective when traveling. From sitting at the airport to the flight, the Uber rides, and aimlessly wandering I find myself to be far more contemplative in these moments than I typically am in my everyday life. When the trip includes Mountains I find myself to be even more struck by the wonder and awe that surrounds me. As I sat eating lunch in the Salt Lake City International Airport I had a beautiful view of the mountain range that Salt Lake as a city hugs (See photo below, thanks to United/Dan Ingram for letting me fly the friendly skies).

Having arrived very late in the evening Friday to Salt Lake I didn't fully understand the immense and as my Uber driver described it "undeniable" beauty of the city. It wasn't until I was in the light of day Saturday that I truly began to comprehend where it was that I found myself.

Now naturally in true nerd fashion Anytime I spent time simply sitting gazing at the mountains I could hear nothing but Bilbo Baggins voice in my head saying "I want to see mountains again, mountains Gandalf!" (Click Here for Clip) more and more I find myself relating to Bilbo more and more... perhaps 26 is the new 111.

Even more truly in nerd fashion, last nights wedding reception afforded me the opportunity to catch up with a grad school friend I had not seen since grad school. Having been separated for years now we took the opportunity to take a deep dive into some of our latest and greatest theological thoughts and insights (some may call heresies). Specifically, I recall us talking about the closeness of God and how we as humans created in the image and likeness of God, bearing an imprint of the creator on our souls could not possible physically distance ourselves from God. Yet at the same time, it is very possible for us to distance ourselves from God. In failing to recognize the love and beauty that is around us and within us it becomes at times natural to distance ourselves from God, yes I know how cliche and cheesy religious hopeful that sounded... I almost vomited a little when I wrote it, even so, I actually do believe it.

I believe it because the love and beauty don't have to be the touchy-feely hallmark love and beauty. Whenever traveling or finding myself with extended amounts of free time I tend to fill it by listening to podcasts. Today I was still reflecting on the above conversation when listening to a podcast that referenced and played a clip of Chopin's Prelude in E Minor (Click Here). The podcast commented on how it is exceptionally sad. One of the hosts of the podcast sad incredibly sad yet hopeful and the other retorted and said no it's not all that hopeful at all. In hearing that I thought to myself yes it is incredibly sad and no it's not hopeful, because it doesn't have to be. Even in its sadness, it is truly exceptionally beautiful.

While some may find it difficult to believe the song is both sad and beautiful at the same time, I welcome the complexity of such a belief. Just as I welcome the complex reality that while God may never be far I may still create distance.


Peace and Blessings Always
~M

Blessings

Earlier today I was talking about a program that provides middle school students with food to take home at the end of the day. The program is called Backpack Blessings. With this being at a public school, I paused and wondered if this were not inappropriate and a subtle form of proselytization upon unaware younglings. I was of course quickly reminded that the students needed food and were getting food so I shouldn't spend too much time being bothered by the name seeing as it would seem they picked the name based on the alliteration... A writing tool I find at times captivating and in other instances tremendously lazy. 

(If anyone wonders why I'm such a strong supporter of keeping things such as prayer out of public schools I'll let you read what my friend Toby had to say about this, Click Here).

As I continued to think however I began to wonder if I didn't also have an issue with the use of the term blessing in this instance altogether. Should the charity of others be considered a blessing? With this question on my mind, I went to my office on a Friday night to begin looking for a definition of the term blessing. 

It was then that I was easily able to find and understand a bit more why I may have had pause in this casual, alliterative, lazy use of the term blessing. First I checked the YOUCAT and found the following, "a blessing is something that comes from God (Latin benedicere; Greek eu-logein = to call good); to bless is a divine, life-giving, and life-preserving action." 

While I found this to be a good starting point, I was not satisfied. So naturally, I turned to the actual Catechism of the Catholic Church for what I hoped to be a more detailed definition. "A blessing or benediction is a prayer invoking God’s power and care upon some person, place, or undertaking. The prayer of benediction acknowledges God as the source of all blessing. Some blessings confer a permanent status: consecration of persons to God, or setting things apart for liturgical usage." 

Here again, I found this to be more detailed and certainly more in-depth, but I did not find satisfaction. 

What I did come to realize is how limited my view on blessings had become. In part, because I grew up with these definitions defining not only what I believed, but what most of those around me knew. A blessing is from God and we are lucky and should thank God if we find ourselves in his good graces. 

Yet what if we took the term blessing and removed the religious implications? Yes, I understand that in doing this I want to completely change the meaning of the word from its origins to mean something else and perhaps I should simply look to use a different word, but instead I've decided to try and craft my own definition of the term. 

I would like to propose that we give the term freedom to mean any type of favor, kindness, charity, and/or love that is shown. In this way, I hope that we can recognize one another as blessings ourselves to one another, as well as recognizing our actions of love and kindness toward one another as kindness. Now perhaps what I'm suggesting is simply a realization or recognition of the divine, the imago Dei, or image of God within all of us that was imprinted upon us and within us by the creator... Which of course I think is true, but perhaps for now on this Friday evening I can keep things a bit more simplified and just leave you all with a blessing of brevity. 

I am curious how you might define blessing.

Peace and Blessings Always

~M

A favorite image of mine just for fun

Why I Personally go to Mass

Yesterday was the feast of St. Dominic, working at a Catholic Dominican college means we not only had a lovely mass, but also a delicious feast day feast. In all honestly, it's been awhile since I'd been to mass on campus. In part because of complicated schedules and in part because I've been pretty pissed at the church lately and haven't made mass attendance a priority. However, as I sat in the pew, listened to the music, sang along to some of the songs, heard scripture, and reflected during the homily I was surprised by the experience of both great calm and motivation. As I was able to sit in the pew I was able to simply sit and relax. Much of the time was spent thinking about a number of non-mass related realities.

Yet after mass I left feeling refreshed and recharged. The reality for me is that I don't often enough take this time in my life to sit and simply be. Sure I take plenty of time to watch movies and Netflix, spend time with friends talking, and every couple weeks find time for catching up on sleep, but I know these moments of relaxation just aren't the same. From the music, the space itself, and the subject matter mass for me becomes a space for relaxing and recharging and honestly that's why I go. That's why I need to recommit to taking time to go to mass.

There is nothing profound about this. There is nothing overly special or insightful about this, I really don't know why I'm writing this as a blog post, perhaps I just needed to share it in a way that was indirect, perhaps these words will help someone else find their way to realizing why they go to mass.

A Millennial Obsession with Lent

After weeks (possibly months) of trying to find a time to get lunch my friend David and I were finally able to share a meal together this past Thursday.

Having nearly forgotten why we were planning to get lunch in the first place, we simply let the natural progression of conversation take its course. This naturally took us down the path of talking about all matter of Catholic things. It all started however with David saying he had a thought earlier that week and wondered if I might have anything to say or write about the matter.

Seeing as I always have an opinion on practically everything, I did, in fact, have a thought on the matter. However, before this lunch never would have thought about writing about it. So as they say this one's for you David.

The topic was the fact that there seems to be a substantial Millennial obsession with the Lenten season. That preparatory time for Catholics and many/most Christians from Ash Wednesday (or Fat Tuesday) until Easter.

I was naturally inclined to wave my arms through the air and say "but of course Millennial's are obsessed with Lent, however, it has less to do with their being Millennial's and far more to do with the fact of how old the millennials are." David sat patiently and listened as I explained this theory of how Millennial's seemed to be obsessed with Lent because it is a new and exciting practice that they are participating in for the first time as young adults living their own lives. Having less to do with anything other than that they seem to be the right age for the season to have a more outwardly significant value. Older folks simply live their Lenten practices as a part of their daily Lenten existence having formed a deep and lasting relationship with the liturgical season. Young children are first learning about it and struggling with the practice or simply wanting to live in defiance of overly pious parents. Millennials are just the perfect age for the obsession.

While I think, everything outlined above does hold to be true and accurate in some way shape or form for some of the outlined age demographics it cannot be the whole picture for all, including our young Millennial friends. A reality David was ready and aptly pointed out to me. Were it not for David I likely would not have given the topic a second thought. I waved my arms, I said things that made sense and that was the end of it.

Fortunately, that is not the case and David pushed me to think more deeply on the matter. His pushing, in fact, resulted in the festering of the question, "why are Millennial's so obsessed."

What follows, I'm sure will be yet another incomplete understanding of a massive grouping of people, complete with arms waving and all, but is the second conclusion I have come to with regard to this question.

In part, there is a millennial obsession with Lent because there is a millennial obsession with authenticity. Not only are Millennial's committed to authentically living their own lives as their own authentic selves there is a further commitment/expectation by/from Millennial's that institutions, be it corporations, communities, or even the Catholic Church, be authentic as well.

Specifically, during this Lenten season, I think there is a desire among millennial's to see the Catholic Church be authentically herself in apologizing, in asking for forgiveness, for repentance, and for profound humility.

Not only are Millennials looking forward to and obsessed with Lent for their own Lenten practices and experiences but for the Church's as well. Perhaps you've noticed this apparent obsession and wondered why. Hopefully, these insights are worth pondering as you continue to wrestle with this question as I am sure I will as well. Arm waving complete.

Peace and Blessings Always
~M