In thinking about what I was going to say today my mind kept thinking about war. Every time I thought about peace my mind was also drawn to war. With this in mind, I thought about what a great opportunity this is to utilize a theological approach known as the via negativa, a Latin phrase used by theologians to approach an understanding and explanation of God by focusing on what God is not. By thinking about war, by talking about war, I could perhaps hint at or share a glimpse of what peace is. 

The problem I ran into however is that for the most part, my understanding and experience of war is that from a historical or news perspective. I like many of us gathered here today only know about war from a classroom or a news report. In this sense, I really couldn’t talk about peace or share an understanding of what peace is by talking about war because, to a certain degree, I don’t know a thing about war in part because I have never experienced it. 

Now that was the thought that brought me to what I could share today, what I could talk about because I have experienced it. I have experienced peace. Which leads me to ask a question of each of you… Have you experienced peace? 

Really think about it. When life becomes busy and burdensome when you have too much to do and everything around you is overwhelming, what is the feeling that comes next? 

What is that feeling of relief when you send that last email? Submit that paper you’ve spent hours working on? finish the test you spent days studying for or give the presentation that took weeks of research and anxiety to present. Is that a feeling of peace? 

Is there peace in the quiet hours of the morning when you’ve woken up before everyone else? Is there peace in the quiet hours of the morning when you’re about to fall asleep after everyone else? 

Is there peace when sitting around a table with loved ones sharing a meal, a laugh, playing a game? 

Is there somewhere specific on campus or anywhere else in your life where you find both an inner and outer peace? 

Have you experienced peace? I hope you have. If you haven’t I hope you give yourself the gift of finding a moment of peace. And today and each day moving forward, I invite you once you have experienced a moment of peace to look at the world around you and find the ways in which you can be peace. Find ways in which you can share the peace of your life with those around you. Find ways in which you can as a global citizen can be an advocate for peace. 

As Pope Francis implored in his prayer for peace, “Keep alive within us the flame of hope, so that with patience and perseverance we may opt for dialogue and reconciliation. In this way may peace triumph at last and may the words “division”, “hatred” and “war” be banished from the heart of every man and woman.”

May this peace pole on campus be a reminder for us to find peace in our lives and to be peace. 

May Peace Prevail on Earth. 

Your Bench - Reflection/Meditation Series

Meditation Series part one (... = long pause).

(Feel free to play some calming music in the background. Not sure what to use CLICK HERE) 

Breathe in...  

And out...

Breathe in...  

And out...

Breathe in...  

And out...

Settle into the space you are in.

Get Comfortable. 

Feel yourself begin to relax as you continue to breathe...

Breathe in...

And out...

In...

And out...

In...

And out...

In your mind, picture a bench. Not just any bench. This is your bench. Focus on your bench. Don't worry about what's surrounding the bench, just picture your bench. Maybe this is a bench you've sat on before. Maybe it's just the first image that popped into your mind. This is your bench. 

What can you see about your bench? What is your bench made of? Is it wood? Is it concrete? Is it metal? Plastic? Is it grown from the earth? Is it cement? 

Picture your bench.

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

What about the legs on your bench? Are they metal? Cast iron? Wood? What is it that holds your bench up? 

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

Now imagine yourself sitting on your bench. What does it feel like? Is it comfortable? Is it hard? Is it cold? Does it creek or make any noise? 

What does it feel like to sit on your bench? Do you feel peaceful? Can you relax? What do you feel as you sit on your bench? 

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

Slowly return to your surroundings. As you return to the space around you, thank yourself for giving yourself the time to be present in this moment. To spend time thinking about your bench. 

Breathe in...  

And out...

In...  

And out...

In...

And out...

During future meditations in this series, you will be invited to return to your bench. Be mindful that as you go your bench may change. Maybe as you're walking through your day to day life you find a new bench. 

 

Meditation/Reflection Series

Hello and welcome to a new Reflection/Meditation Series. Over the next who knows how long/how often I will be posting meditations/reflections. This may be a total flop and end quickly or depending on how I feel it may become a multi-season series with many parts/episodes per season.

This series is inspired by a task from my previous job (a task I assigned myself based on feedback). Every Tuesday from 4:00-4:30 I would lead a guided meditation. I was fortunate enough to be working on a campus with a beautiful meditation room.  My goal was to ensure this time was welcoming and available to all students, faculty, and staff regardless of faith tradition. 

The goal each week was to provide a couple of minutes of quiet as they entered the room. I often had some background music playing at first just from my phone, then through a Bluetooth speaker, then through the speakers in the room itself. That's when I knew I was getting real fancy! I searched meditation music on YouTube and found this CLICK HERE to listen. I've used it/greatly enjoyed it ever since. Not too much not too little, the perfect amount of relaxing. After folks got settled I would start a 10-15 minute guided meditation. Sometimes this was a prewritten meditation from a book I have, with some ad-libbing of course. Other times it was something I wrote beforehand, with some ad-libbing of course. Still, other times it was something I made up on the spot based on the mood of the room, the weather outside, or what was happening in the world/campus around us. 

After the guided meditation there would be time to just listen to the music and then slowly the music would become quieter and quieter until you couldn't hear anything. This complete silence never lasted for too long as those attending would gather their things/themselves and start to depart. These sessions rarely lasted the full 30 minutes, but always provided those attending with time to simply sit and be. They could listen to me and be guided by the meditation or focus on the music or simply wander amongst their own thoughts. No matter what the time was meant to be a gift to themselves. 

In future posts, I will of course give them a title but also provide an indication that the post is part of the meditation/reflection series. All of these will be able to be stand-alone reflections/meditations, but may also benefit from being read/experienced in order. I will do my best to create a clear system for indicating/sharing my thoughts on that to start each post. 

Welcome to the new series. 

Below you will find pictures of the meditation room. The first is a picture of the building from the outside. The meditation space is on the second floor with those beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows. The pictures that follow are courtesy of a dear friend who took time out of a very busy day to snag the photos and shows the meditation space from the inside. To say it was a beautiful space is an extreme understatement. 

Doors before entering the meditation space

The room itself.

Doors as you exit.

Views from the windows.

Damn Semantics!

The other day (by this I mean several weeks ago) I was able to spend time with one of my friends and his family. In fact, I was fortunate enough to spend time with them all twice in the space of a single week. Since this was just the other day I'm not struggling to remember if that happened at his birthday party or at the lake house his family vacationed at for a week. Most assuredly however I do remember that at one of these encounters my friend's mom made a comment about how her son and I met playing chess and became friends as a result. For some reason, instead of just saying yes, or letting the comment pass by without a comment I felt the need to clarify and say, "well no, we didn't meet playing chess, we became friends and then mostly during our senior year in our free time we would play chess from time to time." 

To this moment I still don't know why it was important to me that I make this clarification. It had no merit and no impact on the situation. As I think back on the exchange if anything I worry that I offended my friend's mom by correcting her. 

Now perhaps no one better than my own mother knows how ridiculously particular I can be. For years and years, especially my high school years my mom and I would go back and forth arguing over semantics. To this day she will say one thing, mean something drastically different and at times not understand why that drives me nuts. 

For years and years, I've been overly difficult at times when it comes to using more precise language and have found myself seemingly needlessly arguing over semantics. The other day someone kept referring to buying curtain rods and curtains as buying blinds. I was honestly confused/misunderstood. I will say I was successful in not correcting this person or making a big to do about it. 

And yet there are times when I myself am less precise and don't seem to give a damn about semantics and use phrases interchangeably. So I'm left to wonder, why do I care so much about the damn semantics? At least, why do I care so much sometimes about the damn semantics? 

I think the answer is because sometimes it actually matters. One such example that comes to mind in this area is when it comes to nature and the outdoors. Anyone who knows me knows I don't prefer the outdoors. I am not someone who is going to spend their free time out in the sun, on the beach, hiking, or anywhere that may lead me to any discomfort. So I've come to say I don't prefer the outdoors, I don't do the outdoors, though I may look like a mountain man, I'm no outdoorsman. I don't even own flannel in order to not die from overheating and to avoid the comparison to a lumberjack. 

Nevertheless, I have a deep love and appreciation for the outdoors and for nature. If you wander my house and office you will see a number of pieces of artwork depicting the outdoors and nature. If you ask for me to write a meditation or reflection, or ask to read some of the reflections/meditations I have already written you will learn that I have a great love for and respect of nature. I've even contemplated writing an entire series of reflections that I share here on this blog that would have a great deal to do with nature and the outdoors. The simple reality is that I just prefer to experience nature and the outdoors from the indoors. 

These are the moments when it becomes so desperately important for me to be precise and care about the damn semantics. Even if I don't want to spend my time in nature, I still have an abiding love and admiration for all she has to offer. It's complicated. As a result, I want to make sure I'm clear in my communication so that you too can be clear in your understanding. I'm not an outdoors person, but I do love nature... It doesn't make sense, it may seem contradictory, yet nevertheless, it is true. 

Peace and Blessings Always

Cordially, sincerely, yours, take care, kind regards, be well, thanks, best, and on and on and on. These are but a few of the many many many sign-offs used in emails in a daily basis. When I established my "grown up" email account my senior year of high school. I spent more time than was likely needed thinking about what my signature would be, could be, and should be. 

While I'm confident I spent more time pondering this than the average person I'm glad I did. More than 10 years later multiple jobs and emails and I'm still using the same sign-off in my email signature. Now I'm sure if you've read the last couple of blog posts you are sick and tired of hearing about my damn emails (enjoy a nice video of Bernie Sanders expressing similar sentiments about Hillary Clinton's emails https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOOfwN0iYxM). 

For all these years and what I imagine must be thousands upon thousands of emails, not to mention the old school letter and cards I send using the same sign-off, and some of my past blog posts, you see the same phrase, Peace and Blessings Always. 

For me, it was the right balance of religious but not too religious. Now perhaps that shows my own bias and there are those who I have inadvertently made uncomfortable over the years with the phrase. Yet even so, when I think about the reasoning behind why I settled on that phrase it doesn't have to be religious at all. 

I found myself reflecting (pondering if you will) on why I settled on this phrase twice in the past year, most recently during a conversation with a friend over drinks and before that in a Christmas card I received from a friend. 

Starting with the Christmas card my friend stated her appreciation for our friendship and then referencing herself and her adorable dog she said 'what a blessing I have been to their lives.' Now this perhaps is too high of praise, but in reading her card and in my response to her in the Christmas card I sent I reflected on that being a primary goal of my life and existence. To be a blessing. Now, obviously this is the part of my sign-off phrase that is religious and potentially off-putting. But it isn't meant to be and I don't think it has to be limited to the religious understanding of the term. For me when I say blessings it simply means all good things. May your life and your day be filled with good things. Things that bring you joy and happiness, peace and contentment. It doesn't have to be from God but instead can be from each of us to each other. 

More recently my friend shared with me that she has been reflecting (perhaps even pondering) in her own life on things and if they are bringing her joy or suffering. Worrying about the cleanliness of a house before friends come or even deciding not to have friends over because the house isn't clean... joy or suffering. 

For me, this resulted in recalling another recent situation with this same friend at a meeting we were at when we were asked what is bringing us joy in our lives. When it comes to fun and joy I find myself most often responding dismissively, "Oh I don't do fun" "Joy isn't my thing" "Who even has the time" but as I take the time to think about these things it's not that I don't do fun or that joy isn't my thing. More accurately I think there are times when instead of thinking about joy and fun as what I am longing for instead I am longing for peace, something that does bring me joy and that I do find to be fun (whatever that means). Now perhaps I'm just making distinctions where there is no real difference (be on the lookout for a new blog post talking more about that) but even if that's the case it's how I feel, or at least what I'm currently thinking on the topic. 

All this to say, I hope in your day, your week, your month, and even your year, you find things that are bringing you peace and all things good. As I spend my day reflecting I find myself more and more realizing I want to be a blessing to those around me and I want to find peace. 

So with that, I say... 

Peace and Blessings Always

~Mike

"No Answers Only Questions"

 Riding with me can be a bit of an adventure. No not because of my reckless driving. In fact, on more than one occasion I've been reminded I no longer drive a Buick, not need to drive like a grandpa. While I certainly spent some time as a youth rushing from place to place I'd like to think my motto of don't be hasty not only applies to my walking, decision making, speech pattern, and most every other aspect of my life, but also to my driving (the handful of speeding tickets also helped me learn to slow down while driving and be a bit more cautious). 

No the reason why riding with me (at least the reason for this post) has much more to do with the fancy new car I have that connects to my phone. From listening to an audiobook at two times the speed, or one of my favorite NPR podcasts one is never too certain what will come on the radio when I'm driving. This is particularly true if I haven't been listening to a podcast or audiobook recently. In those events, my phone automatically goes to my iTunes and starts to play the music I have there. The only problem with this is I've not gone about adding music to my phone ever. The only music that is readily available in iTunes comes from one specific playlist. This is the purchased playlist. I have not actively purchased anything from iTunes since I was in college. More specifically much of the music that I did purchase from iTunes was done during my high school years. Like I said, riding with me can be one hell of an adventure. Beyond attempting to navigate the eclectic taste in music I had from when I was 14 to 22 there is another unique category of music that can be found in that playlist. 

That is the category of music specifically purchased for my dad that I helped him add to an iPod shuffle he had. He would give me cash or an iTunes gift card and I would buy whatever album he wanted, add it to the "dad" playlist and transfer the music to his iPod every so often. For the most part, I never gave the songs much thought or attention. Truth be told I completely forgot about this until I was driving and couldn't figure out what some of these songs were and why they were on my phone. I then remembered this ancient practice of purchasing music and putting the songs on the iPod. 

More often than not, I find myself skipping these songs. However, there was one in particular that I've come to really enjoy. I don't know why I first listened to it, maybe I liked the tone that it set, maybe I was just too slow skipping (after all one must not be too hasty). 

The song in question is the title of this reflection: No Answers Only Questions (Final Version) by The Alan Parsons Project (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xH59A_8M3A). 

If you've never heard of this song give it a listen (link above). Listening to this song on repeat last week helped inspire me to write the last two reflections I shared. It helped remind me that it's ok to sit with the questions. I hope you find this song and its lyrics as beautiful, calming, and comforting as I do. 

Some of us laugh,

Some of us cry,

Some of us lay back - watch the world go by.

Some of us fear,

Some of us hate,

Some of us won't wake up 'till it's too late!

The distance between us is a mystery to us all,

The difference between us is so small!

There are no answers, only questions

And we're all strangers to the truth

But in my mind's eye

I have found the reason why

And I carry the burden of the proof.

Why do we fight?

Why do we fall?

Why do we stand there - backs against the wall?

Why don't we change?

Why don't we try?

Why don't we turn 'round, help the other guy?

The distance between us is a mystery to us all,

The difference between us is so small

There are no answers, only questions

And we're all strangers to the truth

But in my mind's eye

I have found the reason why

And I carry the burden of the proof

And I carry the burden of the proof.

New Chapters: The Future of a Blog

 In my last post, I provided a brief history of this blog and roughly twelve reasons (excuses) for why my commitment to writing reflections dropped off. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons (not an excuse) was a massive case of writer's block brought on by ridiculous expectations. See the truth is when it comes to my writing and reflections I have a fairly low level of confidence. Sure there are certain pieces that I think are amazing, certain research papers from school that I take a particular level of pride in, but all in all, over the years I've found myself questioning why I bother putting thoughts to paper (even electronic paper). I found myself thinking that if there wasn't anything truly uniquely profound or new that I was sharing what was the point of sharing at all. 

Fortunately, over the years I have had a number of supportive friends who have always encouraged my writing. Yet never the less I wondered what was the purpose of me writing these blogs posing questions if I couldn't answer them with some kind of brilliance. 

In December I was reminded by a friend that sometimes what can be most appreciated is asking the questions, truly sitting with them, and letting them bother me. In a more recent conversation with that same friend, I was talking with them about a Dominican Motto that I have had in my email signature since (I think February) 2014. This motto "Contemplare et contemplata aliis tradere" "To contemplate and share with others the fruits of our contemplation" has been something I have personally identified with deeply since I spent time visiting the Dominican Priory in St. Louis in February of 2014. During this most recent conversation, I was giving myself a hard time saying I am exceptionally good at the first half of the motto. I greatly enjoy sitting and contemplating. Or as I often say with other friends I greatly enjoy sitting and pondering Something I do so much my friend Brian and I as well as my friend Kara and I have our own inside jokes (mostly just them making fun of me) about me sitting around always pondering. 

With this motto in mind and more specifically with a desire to be more committed to the second half, not just the first my goal for this blog, the new about me section, is to share fruits. The fruits may not always be picture-perfect, they may not be polished and brilliant, and at times it may be nothing more than sharing some questions that have been bothering me or explaining insights into how I think about things and go about my day-to-day existence. 

So if you're ever wondering what has Mike been thinking about lately hopefully you won't need to look too much further than this blog. 

My home office/study/almost library aka one of my favorite views when pondering.