"I am here."

          Anyone who knows me well knows that there are often times that I have a complete and utter inability to see how the dots are connected. Similarly, there are often times that I find ways to connect the dots in the most round about and illogical way possible. It should then come to those who know me that I often find myself reading a book or article and suddenly having a thought that brings back a flood of memories or connects in a most profound way to a book or article I have read or a thought that I have had before, even if the book or article was read or the thought was thought years ago. For this reason among many others, I love nothing more than surrounding myself with my books. Always keeping them close at hand to return to when such a rush of thought happens.

           For this reason, the past month or so has been particularly distressing. As I packed and prepared to move I had a number of my books not only a city away but in another state from where I was living. This left me with a number of what I am sure would have been brilliant thoughts unpursued. This was of course with one exception.

            One thought was far to impactful to be left unpursued. As I read an article for my last graduate level class on the theology of prayer I was reminded of a book looking at the seven last words of Jesus.

            In the Gospels of Mark and Matthew we see the last words of Jesus the Christ recorded as “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (MK 15:34, MT 27:46).  There are typically two ways of addressing this particular passage. I would like to suggest both of them as likely true, but add a bit of my own thought and reflection.

           One typical response to seeing is this to very simply point out that these words are the opening lines of Psalm 22. The next sentence often then looks at this and says it was not an honest or earnest outcry from Jesus, but instead he was merely praying and calling upon the wisdom of Psalm 22. The other typical response is to say that Jesus in his humanity, being fully human he did indeed, in that moment, upon the cross, feel a very real sense of abandonment.

          I see no reason why these need to be conflicting responses. Instead, I see them as deeply linked. Integrally related yet missing one last important aspect. In this moment of physical torture who could blame Jesus for feeling a sense of abandonment and in feeling this abandonment calling upon the words of Scripture for a prayer? What is missing from the Gospel accounts, something that we simply cannot know with historical certainty is what God’s response to Jesus’ prayer was.

          In truth we don’t even know if these were, in fact, Jesus last words, both Matthew and Mark recount slightly differently, “And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit.” (MT 27:50) and “And Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed His last.” (MK 15:37). What we don’t know if what kind of response Jesus received from God.

          I like to think, the thought I had the other day that inspired all of this, that the last thing Jesus experienced before crying out and offering up his spirit was the familiar voice of God saying nothing more than “I am here.” In hearing this profoundly comforting response Jesus embraced whatever might follow and gave his spirit over to God.

All it took was a simple “I am here.”

Would this be enough for you or me? 

Peace and Blessings Always
~M

Photo Credit Little Ways Photography

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